iCate

laid off and learning to love it… my journey from corporate sprinter to life marathoner

sahm: thank you, facebook (and husband) 06/21/2009

Filed under: SAHM Choice — ccatet @ 7:15 am

last fall, around the time i was back at work after my daughter’s birth, i *caught* my husband on facebook. i was so mad i could barely see straight – and when mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

i think it was a fair response given we were behind on everything around the house. on top of it, we were rushing into the holidays with no gifts, no plan, no toilet paper in the house… you get the point. and here he was, facebooking. i could have killed him. i remember my exact response was something along the lines of, “if you have time for facebook, i have plenty of things that you can do around here.” looking back, not my finest hour. i was cracking under the pressure and not wearing my nice wife hat.

unfortunately, this exchange launched my perception of facebook off on the wrong foot. i initially viewed it as a waste of time and a useless tool for people who were bored and certainly not for people who had two kids under 2. i could not even conceptualize getting on to facebook.

after that, my husband spent a fair amount of time on there (after always checking what could be done around the house first – he is a quick study!) anyways, i got curious… and in mid-february, took the leap and created a profile. i was very overwhelmed. i consider myself to be reasonably private and every part of me was screaming to deactivate the account. i decided to take some time off from the tool and not let it unnerve me. still, i was bombarded by friend requests every day from names i had not seen in over a decade, friends from college and grad school, former work colleagues, neighbors… you name it. they were all on facebook.

i was digesting all of this when i was laid off.

something interesting happened when i was home though – i got lonely. i had my kids, including my 2.5 year old who is a great little conversationalist, but it was not enough on some days. i cried to my husband that i felt isolated, something i am sure a lot of SAHMs feel from time to time.

with a little bit more free time on my hands, i went into oberserver mode and tried to learn how facebook worked. even more so, i was trying to figure out what i could use it for that kept me in my comfort zone.

i am here to say that i truly have come to appreciate facebook for so many things, including a feeling of connectedness to the world, reduced loneliness, and especially the ability to learn and share in the full life picture for *almost* everyone i have ever known.

a nice girl i knew in high school shared the following newsweek blog/article about facebook on facebook recently and the subject truly resonates with me. click here to read it.

based on our ridiculously social weekend thus far, i know facebook has not replaced my social life. however, it certainly does round me out – especially on those days when my social interactions are limited to people under 40 inches. reading posts from friends makes me laugh, cry, and generally feel normal.

as a nod to him this father’s day, i hope my husband knows how much i appreciate him turning me onto new technology. for this alone, i shall wear my nice wife hat — all day long.

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One Response to “sahm: thank you, facebook (and husband)”

  1. Cate's mom Says:

    I think this might be one of those “ah-hah” moments!….very nice, and true!


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